21st Century girl

'But MUUUUM everyone else has one, why can't I?!'

Mobile phones and children... at what age should a child be allowed their own mobile phone and why?

My eldest daughter is 10 years old, and it has come to my attention that mostly all of her friends have a mobile phone and yet I am still adamant that she is too young to have one...yet. Is this me being cruel and mean as she suggests or am I doing the right thing?
Nobody teaches you how to raise your children, there is not a set guideline to follow, so I just seem to follow my gut instinct, and in this situation I don't feel paying out for a mobile phone is worth it.
Don't get me wrong, there have been plenty of times that I have wanted her to have a phone handy, (mainly on a Saturday morning so I can text her asking if she could bring me up a coffee in bed!), and yet I still haven't budged and we have managed to get around the situation.
This whole phone epidemic has only come to fruition in the last 15 years or so, and before that I'm pretty sure we all survived without a mobile phone. Surely kids nowadays can handle it too? 
We have all become far too reliant on these mobile devices, hoping that they are our children's safety nets in times of trouble. Many of them have full access to the internet, in my opinion it is far more unsafe to have a smartphone than to be without one.
It's not just mobile devices we don''t really 'do' in our house, game consoles are another no go, I'm not about to share the one television in our house with a 'gamer'. My thinking is if you don't have a game console then the children are more like to play outside in the fresh air than sit all day 'gaming'.

If your child is playing out with unlimited access to the internet on a smartphone, then there is no one to check at what they are looking at or who they are talking to.

I came from the generation of the first 'chat rooms'. I was talking to a whole range of strangers and now I look back at this I can see how dangerous it was, how the information I was giving out about where I lived and who I was could have been used against me for the worse, now technology has come so much further I want to protect my children from that for as long as possible. The media is full of stories about children being cyber bullied and I don't want this for my child.

It's not like my daughter is not given the freedom that other children with phones has, she is, she knows to call me from the house phone of a friend's when she gets there to let me know where she is, and she follows the boundaries set out for her when playing out. And guess what?, she manages all this WITHOUT the use of a mobile phone!!!! 
When she plays out with friends she's not texting or googling, she's being a child and that is what she needs at 10 years old. 

I'm sure there will come a day that I think she is old enough to have her own mobile phone, but for now I'm just happy she's out playing with friends and being a child.

Am I old fashioned in the way that I think? Probably!

tumultuous, adj.

tumultuous

adjective, characterised by noise, disorder, commotion or uproar.
Marked by a violent turbulence or upheaval, highly agitated, as the mind or emotions; 
distraught; turbulent. 


neurotic behaviours of both parties mixed with his inability to provide enough affection to sooth the wounds = flogging a dead horse.....

Yarn bombing: Bristol

Yarn bombing, yarn storming, guerilla knitting, kniffiti, 

urban knitting or graffiti knitting;

a type of graffiti or street art that employs colourful 

displays of knitted or crocheted yarn or fibre.

Photos by Mark Rodgers

Is there an area near you that could do with a little warming up with colour, texture and style?

natural instinct

Age gap or age cavern? and where do you draw the line?

The late Anthony Quinn was 81 when he impregnated a 19 year old, Tony Randall was 75 when he married his 24 year old wife and Playboy founder Hugh Hefner married his third wife who is 60 years his junior. 

So... you've fallen for an older guy, you are in your late 20's whilst he is early 40's and you realise, although the age gap isn't so bad now, give it 20 years time the difference might just be more prominent. You could still be hard at work whilst he's queuing up at the Post Office to collect his pension, and that's when reality checks in. Or does it?

Yes my boyfriend is older than me, fifteen years to be precise, but I'm no gold digger, if you saw me you would realise I'm not exactly 'arm candy', and I don't have daddy issues, so why am I so attracted to a man much older than myself?

Other than the fact he is the most charming man I have met for a very very long time, he is utterly gorgeous but more importantly...why is he interested in me?

Most women will admit that they want a strong man who can stand his own ground. Back in 'cave man times', this meant the man could feed his family and protect them from predators. 
Women are now taught to be independent, we can pop to the shops for our food and if we need protecting we can always call the Police, however, you cannot change human instinct, human nature, and as a woman I still want a man to be big enough and strong enough to wrap his arms around me and protect me for what life throws at me. 
He can do more than that.

Real women want more from a man than 'just a fling', they want experienced, unselfish lovers in the bedroom, they need the respect and appreciation they deserve, and in my experience this is usually only found in men over the age of 30. An older man isn't into 'playing games', he's been there and he's done that.

He has more life experiences than me and with that comes a better understanding of relationships. It turns the usual conversations into something better balanced and it makes a big difference in how we relate to one another compared with other relationships I have been in.
So actually I'm not worried about what the future holds for this relationship, I can always put him in a home if he gets too much!!


Other gorgeous over 40's out there who you wouldn't think twice about dating!!

Gerard Butler age 45

Hugh Jackman age 46

Johnny Depp aged 51

Russell Crowe aged 50

Helpless romntic

I am a helpless romantic, I always have been. 
From writing secret little notes to creating a mix tape. I love it.

'I lay my head onto the sand,
The sky resembles  black-lit canopy with holes punched in it.
I'm counting UFO's, 
I signal them with my lighter
And in this moment I am happy, happy....'

Incubus - Wish you were here.

I picture everyday situations in rose tinted glasses like a scene from a Rom Com, the only thing that is missing is the soundtrack for everyone else to hear.

A hailstorm comes over when we're looking out across a canal, sunshine just glinting through the clouds as the tiny balls of ice hop and bounce at our feet. Time stands still, no one is around and with that peace, I feel it starting, the scene begins, my Rom-com is about to take action... 
All that is needed is for my boyfriend to wrap his arms around me, kiss me on the neck and to share that romantic moment with me... But he doesn't.

Whereas most people see a bonfire, I see a magnitude of colours and crackles of sound, twinkles of light, fireflies escaping to fly into the black lit sky and an overwhelming sense of romance. Those are the times I need someone to love me, someone to hold onto, to share those moments with me, a helpless romantic.

Dictionary definitions vary for the word 'Romance', but what they all agree on is that to be romantic is to indulge in fanciful stories or daydreams, and that is definitely me.

The problem is not many other people share in this daydreaming life....

My life, my choices, my mistakes, my lessons, none of your business!

'The greatest fear in the world is of the opinions of others and the moment you are unafraid of the crowd, you are no longer a sheep, you become a lion. A great roar arises in your heart, the roar of freedom.'
Osho


Cara Delevingne's positive affirmations on her Twitter...

Family Tree

I'm sitting in bed at my grandparents’ house in my Grampy’s oversized t-shirt. 

This would have fitted him once where it now hangs off him, I've just found out he’s got prostate cancer. He’s had it for three years and not one of the other family members have told me. 

I was completely in shock, but I can’t put my finger on whether or not I am more shocked at the ‘Big C’, or the fact that I have been left in the dark for three years! Three years! When I asked why, apparently, it’s because, ‘We just don’t talk about it.’

That is my family all over; we don’t talk about the important stuff, all that gets shoved under the carpet. I suck in everything that is going on around me. Arguments, disagreements, disappointments, they all get gathered inside; the trait has been passed down through the generations. It’s not healthy, but not only that, it’s really not useful either, nothing gets properly sorted out!

This has got me thinking, what else has been passed down the proverbial family tree? What other personalities have I acquired from previous family members, maybe ones that I have never even met?

When sitting in the conservatory with my mother, Grandmother and Great Aunt, me and my mother couldn't help but give worried glances to one another… we both knew that we really did not want to turn into either Grandma or the Great Aunt when we got older!

Negative, moaning and narrow minded, where has that trait come from? And please God don’t let me get it!

I do everything I can to parent my children in a different way to how I was brought up. It’s not that my parents did a bad job, it’s just I want to do it differently and so far it’s been so good. But how do I explain the times that I stop in mid-sentence as I can hear my own mother’s voice flowing straight out of me! Just where did that come from?!

How can I prevent what could be the unpreventable? How can I stop what might actually be in my genes? And when the fuck am I going to be treated like an adult by my family and let in on serious discussions such as, ‘Your Grampy has cancer and by the way he’s gone for a spine x-ray as it might have spread there too!’, (information I found out myself from reading their calendar!!!)!!!

My Grampy has never been a hero, he hasn't changed the world in anyway, but he is still my Grampy and I love him.

Life throws some pretty wild balls at you sometimes, its how you react and what you do with them that counts.... so I'm going to carry on pretending I don't know as that is what Grampy wants and I'm going to spend quality time with him whilst I can, so that means getting off of this computer!!

Eggs for Easter

Happy Easter!

Easter for me isn’t just about the chocolate eggs and the Easter Bunny, my family remember the true meaning of Easter, the period of time leading up to the crucifixion of Jesus Christ on the cross, the resurrection, and all to allow us to be forgiven for our sins whenever we ask for it, the most amazing sacrifice.

When at my boyfriend’s house we got talking about Easter and he went upstairs and brought out an old Design and Technology project of his. It was a simple, large, wooden box with a brown tinted glass cover that could slide out. It had three trays that sat one on top of the other and each tray was divided into sections with a dusting of fine yellow sawdust.

This box was designed to protect some of the most precious objects I have had the delight to touch. 

Eggs. 

Lots and lots of eggs, all shapes, sizes, colours and patterns, all intricate and fragile, stored in a bed of sawdust. Some were as bone china held up to the light you could see shadows through them, and each egg had been kept there safely for twenty eight years.

I loved how small the Robin’s eggs were, to think a little chick about the size of a five pence piece would come out of them enthralled me. The colour of the Magpie and House Sparrow eggs that look like pebbles from the beach and the vibrant blue of the Thrush eggs were a feast upon the eyes! All the children loved seeing these eggs, and they probably wouldn’t get another chance to see this many all together from wild birds again!

Easter is definitely about new life, whether it be tiny baby chicks hatching from eggs or the new life in Christ when sins have been forgiven which only has happened since Jesus died on the cross for us.

So Happy Easter everyone, and happy chocolate eating!!!

Life Mould

You are what life makes you….

Life has dealt me many cards, most that I would never have chosen for myself, but whatever hand I get I can never say that it has not made me who I am today, for the better.

I don’t surround myself with acquaintances, I don't do Twitter, my Facebook friends list does not reach above 40 and I would say that I only have a fistful of true friends. This is how I like it.

My life has been the roller-coaster that, with a mixture of my own wise and not so wise choices, I have seemed to plummet through it, not as gracefully as I would have liked. Having a baby at 18, a divorce by 22, a selection of undesirables for boyfriends, life’s been a blast! However I am probably one of the most patient people I know, I give far too many chances and love far too much.

Here are some of the cards I probably wouldn't have chosen….

Living the last two and a half years in a relationship with a man who never wanted to kiss or cuddle me. Without this I would never have been able to appreciate what real love and affection is, what I need from a partner to be happy and would never have found the love of my life…

I probably would have preferred to not have experienced the time that I lost my tent at a festival. It was the middle of the night and, after an hour and a half, had to get the security guards to help me and my children go through every tent in the field until we found it!! I learnt that before rushing off to the excitement we should always look at our surroundings and perhaps even go so far as to decorate your tent with solar powered fairy lights so you know which tent is yours!

I've turned up for job interviews up to a week before the actual dates, arrived at gigs two days after, been to the Space museum on the one day of the week it is closed, I've lost the car on a freezing November evening and had to search surrounding streets for it. I've forgotten names of people I've been friends with for years and can’t introduce them, parent’s evenings and other appointments go unattended even when written in a diary and birthday cakes are a rushed higgledy piggledy of ingredients the night before.

Whatever I seem to do I know that my family and my fistful of closest friends love me for those very reasons and although it annoys me about myself at least I am conscious of just how forgetful I can be plus I've heard some wouldn't change me for the world….